For well over a year, I’ve been working in a bar and restaurant, again. You sure need a tough skin for this kind of work, and mine is not of the very tough kind, I tell ya. However, my skin is much tougher after working at this place, that’s for sure.
Now, I don’t want to call anyone out and never will. That’s not part of my MO, ha! What I believe I am currently learning right now is that if you feel like you don’t click or fit in, etc, then maybe that’s a sign you are not supposed to be there in the first place. God has a plan for us all. Time is very precious and a valuable commodity and how we spend our time is very important. We must not invest it in the wrong people and things. I have not been happy at my place of work and some of that could be my part. But the other part of that isn’t. It’s the people I work with, some of them.
Let’s talk about being happy for a second. Happiness is something you have to work on for the rest of your life. We need to bring our best self forward in relationships and life. I have been working on being happy, so the little parts of me that aren’t always happy affect my work life. What I’m trying to say is how difficult it was to see that maybe it’s not me, it’s them; even though I am still a work in progress. Ha. Also, a reminder here that I am becoming more happy, and now will have to learn how to be happy around people who aren’t. So, life is flip-flopping. It reminds me of something I saw and re-posted on one of my IGs.
“We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are.” -Unknown.
There. I said it. Find another job is Game-On. I feel like I have really tried to put in some effort of learning my trade and developing my server skills, people skills, up-selling, and sales, you name it! Memorizing drinks, and keeping up with the company FB pages, and their website, beer list, and ever-changing and evolving menu. I was never late, my uniform was never shabby, and my apron always clean. I never gave up my shifts, tried to regularly pick up shifts, and remained flexible with my schedule, even when my hours were cut. Also, I feel like, again, not enough recognition, also no development. [sad face]. At the end of this part of my journey, I was fixing my hair every shift, wearing it down, with lipstick. I always brought my best foot forward, but it got even better as it was developed and polished, you see. The thing I needed to remember and learn is that no matter what you’re doing, who you are dating, getting to know, where you are working, or what not, you are still you. Always be your best self. Learn when to walk away, though.
One last moment of truth right here. First, I keep setting expectations, which I must stop. And, second, I got butt-hurt over social media related things. What I mean is, I added different people, people I met and work with. Including the owners and managers, and employees. The same as everyone else. But, anyway, I didn’t get the same follow backs, always on IG. Anyway, of course, I read into it. The blessing in disguise is I really am starting not to give AF. AND. I no longer feel any anxiety over it, nor do I want any of their approval any longer. So, quite frankly, they may or may not be winning right now, but I am.
There are a few other things I could mention, but it should not make a difference to exclude them. In some ways, I have been trying too hard to fit in and gain the approval and attention of others, and my managers. Most of them are assholes, so. I’m just over it. Think about it, though. It would take some kind of assholes to be successful at running a bar, right?! It’s just a different kind of crowd, employees, and non-employees that are there. Besides, I might try hard, but I’m not willing to kiss A*s, either.