R A W

 

raw/real pic with no make-up

 

R-A-W, not to be confused with RAWR!

However, both are appropriate! Let me explain. This post is RAW, first. As I will be telling you about my day.. so far

In my post, I am strong like a lioness, so I RAWR like one! Get it? RAWR? Like, ROAR. Any day is a good day to RAWR and be RAW, or REAL! I want nothing more than to be able to be myself. To be kind and honest and REAL. This post is kind of like venting, also. Yes, that is what this is, me venting. I am just talking about one moment in time similar to many in which I have found and will find myself in much the same circumstances… when I am running late, Ha!

So, today started off like any other day. I get up these days to get my son up, which I am very grateful for. The alarm goes off at six, and we better be out the door before 6:40! However, it is almost spring break.. I even have time to hit snooze and shower before we leave, which is nice.

This morning is not my first THE Tomball Toastmasters meeting, but it is my first THE Tomball Toastmasters Club Contest, for which I am only visiting and spectating. Three of us from the same home club will also be attending this other club’s contest.

UPDATE AND EDIT: I posted a lot more earlier today. Then, I later deleted and am now editing. I think that this is important to mention. Anyway, the point of my blog is to never talk about anyone else. It’s not a place for negativity. I didn’t do that earlier or anything. But I did go on and on for a sec. It was redundant, long, and not written well. This blog is a place for me to be able to express myself, which I have always wanted to do, but yet NEVER felt comfortable doing.

Anyway, here is a shortened version of what I was saying, earlier.

Every week I make mistakes which I learn from. Even though I resigned from my full-time job earlier this year at the end of January, I am as busier than ever, much busier than I could have ever planned to be. We all know life is a roller coaster, and not just the ups and downs, but in all the ways we are growing by overcoming challenges and obstacles. Sometimes though, I have to say, these bumps affect me a little differently than at other times. It is during times like these where I feel frustration, among other things. I am an emotional woman, after all.

One thing I must work on is how I react to things. I mean, immediately. That said, of course, I am not perfect. As I grow and evolve, I find myself being even more quirky and in some ways less tolerant, or more unapologetic than ever before. I am still incredibly patient but believe me, people can still drive me nuts on occasion. I, too, can drive people nuts! I KNOW THIS! I don’t want to surround myself with people that I drive crazy and vice versa. I am constantly working on this.

Here is my rant from earlier about being on time or late, rather.

Well, first of all, I was running so late. It literally took me twice as long to get to my destination. There was SO much traffic that I did not anticipate. Also, the construction that is around Lone Star College – Tomball is ridiculous. I always get a little confused even though I have been to this campus a million times, but it was definitely more confusing with the construction. I used to only visit one area of this campus, only, anyway.

One point is, even though I was already kicking it into high-gear with zero time to waste, I answered my phone when it rang, minutes before the meeting/contest was scheduled to start.  I answered my phone because it was one of the two girls also attending, that was calling. I answered my phone even if it was perfectly acceptable if I had not answered at that very moment.  It would have been perfectly acceptable not to answer my phone at that time because I was either driving or running late. Let me just say right there that is how I feel about that.

I have had to travel for work all over Houston, only, by car for the last three years! If there is one thing I learned is that you have to leave early! You have to be prepared for everything, etc etc. Late is late. On time is late.

I learned Friend #1 was running late when I was on the phone with her. Patiently, I stayed on the phone with her the entire time. I told her what I already knew about the location since I had been there before, reminding her that I won’t be able to confirm much more over the phone right now being in the moment as I was speaking to her. There was so much construction, and I am not too familiar, anyway. Also, I mentioned it is always a little confusing for me. Besides, she waited until the last minute to call me. NOthing wrong with that, it’s just unfortunate.

Here is why this bothered me. It bothered me that she was running late in the first place, that she called me on my phone at the last minute because she didn’t know where to go, and because she didn’t seem to have any regard for calling me at the last minute because she was late, even when I told her I was also running late, too. I shouldn’t have maybe taken the call, but then I probably would have run into her so it would have slowed me down like a second either way.

I took her call because she’s my friend. I was on the phone with her at the same time that I drove right past her, lucky her I guess. She was able to park right next to me. We got out at the same time. But, I was ready to book it. I can’t walk slow somewhere when I am running late like that. I will help you get there, tell you where to go, and stay on the phone with you, or call you when I get there. But, whoever I am with is going to have to understand this one thing about me right away, she was no exception! It’s one thing if I wasn’t expected to be there half an hour ago! At this time, I hadn’t even seen Ron’s text yet asking where I was!)

A N Y W A Y,  I feel a little guilty not waiting for her to go inside. But also, I  feel frustrated, too.

She did not show any sense of urgency to me. Not only that, but halfway from the parking lot to the building, she took a call. I thought, unbelievable, and I kept going, knowing she was following me and would make it, eventually. I left her for better or worse, with hardly any remorse, because I was LATE! She was on the phone!

Once inside, after I settled, I did make my way over to her where she was sitting to chit chat since the contest had not started yet. I have no idea how she was feeling, she didn’t say, and I couldn’t tell! I tried to make conversation and ease any stress from before, as mine was gone as well. I tried to connect some dots for her and give her a little background about Tomball TM, for better or worse. I also tried to introduce her to someone in the club, and in doing so, I gave some background and an informal TM introduction of sorts about my friend when I introduced my friend to the TM member.

And get this, I even joked that I was speaking for her, I think I made a similar joke again the second time I did this when I made one more comment. Anyway, my friend just wasn’t having it. She was not impressed and she said she did not like that, she did not like that at all. I was kind of shocked because that’s all she said. Anyway, I eventually excused myself. At the end of the contest, we all walked out together.

It was odd to me to say the very least. Anyway, it was also very interesting to me, what happened. I’m sure I will figure it out, or not. It doesn’t matter. The event and circumstances will still help me grow!

 

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